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Solo Flight
Chereé Bartlett, Esq.
Every little girl engages in the fantasy of marriage usually when she gets her first set of dolls. She spends hours playing house with a mommy, daddy and baby. In her innocence her story typically lack the ups and downs of real marriage, let alone the harrowing road of trying to get there. Nonetheless, her play husband and wife are without question made for each other. But as she gets older and dolls no longer occupy her imagination, she realizes marriage doesn’t come together as easily as the plastic figures of her youth. Finding and being found by the right person is an ordeal in and of itself with no guarantee that it will happen when she wants it or if it will happen at all.
I’m not a marriage expert or even a relationship one, but I thought I would address this topic from my limited perspective because it has arisen on many occasions in conversation with fellow co-workers. I must admit I had not, before working with a certain group of people spent a lot of time thinking about marriage even though many would consider me to be in my prime or perhaps beyond it. So, this piece is not likely to be very long or profound. I am a Christian and that in itself complicates the marriage landscape because I cannot be joined with just anyone, most particularly unbelievers. Therefore, any unbeliever attracted to me is automatically canceled because I know it will not work. If I was desperate and impatient I might be tempted to marry the first guy who caught my fancy irrespective of his beliefs, but I’m not desperate and never have been. For truly, I know that to marry someone out of desperation, loneliness, or gonging biological time clocks, is a recipe not for marital bliss, but marital disaster. Also, I tend to be somewhat logical and I know that if I marry someone not for me, I would be unhappy and he would be unhappy. So why try and fit a role circle into a square hole.
When you factor God into the equation, things become even more prickly because you have to trust that he will send the right person across your path and for a woman that means a man wants to mesh your destiny with his destiny so that you become one destiny. So for me it becomes a question of when and if I meet the person who wants to be the alterer of my destiny, who wants to step into my world and become a part of me as I would become a part of him. God is my protector and my refuge. He has kept unsavory and unsuitable people away from me. I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone so my heart has not been broken and I am not carrying any emotional baggage. I do not feel that if I don’t get married I’m incomplete. My goal and aim in life is to be happy and joyful in whatever situation God has me. Therefore, if I’m single for all my days I’m going to be the best single woman of God I can be and hopefully allow him to use me in whatever capacity He desires. If God allows me to be married, I will endeavor to be the best wife I can be. Sure I’d like to be married, but not at the expense of my relationship with God. My determination is never to compromise my values or beliefs because I want somebody, for when I’m dead and gone that “somebody” will not stand with me before God. I begin this life alone and on that day when I stand before Him, I will stand alone.
Thus, for all you people who find your soulmates and loves for life, I am thrilled for you. I hope those whom God has truly joined together will not be put asunder and may God bless, keep and uphold you all the days of your lives. As for me, my flight is still a solo one.
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